I had to say goodbye this week, and it was so much harder than I expected. Because when you really, truly leave a place, you’re not just saying goodbye to people and things (if that weren’t enough), but you’re saying goodbye to an era, to the way those people and things made you feel, to life as you knew it.
I can’t exactly explain what my five years in Bangkok have meant to me. People try to tell me it was a “great experience,” and they call it a “wonderful opportunity” I was blessed to have. But to me, it was so much more than that. To me, Thailand wasn’t just a great experience, Thailand was real life. And to me, Thailand wasn’t just a foreign mission field, Thailand was home. My friends in Bangkok were not simply fellow comrades on some adventure, or a new connection to another culture, they were the ones who lived everyday life with me, who prayed forward victories beside me, who held me when I wept, who knew me through the good and bad, and loved me still.
Ironically, I can’t say that most of my time in Bangkok was easy or even necessarily happy. Often, I felt disconnected and discouraged. Often, I wondered where I even fit in that big city, and if pouring out my heart was worth it there. But, I think, actually, it was through those things that God showed me the sweetness and the depth of persevering love, and through the trials, He opened my heart to receive love from others when I needed it most.
Now, looking back, I’m so thankful for every season of my Bangkok years, and the sadness I feel today is really rather sweet, and rich, and meaningful. God really does use every little thing to shape us, and change us, and to work in our lives and relationships.
I’ve been reading Matthew 6 a lot lately, the part when Jesus tells us to store up treasures in heaven — the kind that can’t be stolen or destroyed. And I really believe that maybe relationships are some of the precious treasures Jesus speaks of. Invest in others. Love people. It’s always worth it. These are eternal, and in Jesus, relationships are forever.
My dear friend, Gloria, told me this week that God can expand our hearts to fit all the new things and people He places in our lives, in all the places He takes us. It made me feel so happy inside to remember that when we’re talking about love, there is always room for more.
“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” [Mt. 6:19-21]